Monday, August 30, 2010

A Word to the Victims of MKUltra

There are a few points I would like to make to all of you- just so we understand where I am coming from concerning this whole movement to bring forth the victims that have experienced ritual abuse- and most especially those whose abuse was at the government's hands. The project MKUltra is a subject I speak about in my book Confessions of an Antichrist, however- at this moment I am not going to discuss much about it. Those of you who endured the secret lessons our government was teaching know of what I am speaking about, and this letter is for you.

I know that the torture we went through as children broke us in ways that we can never get back. Trust me when I also say that I know about the residual fear that was left over from my lessons- and the paranoia that it perpetuates in my life- even now, well into my forties. I have spent a good deal of my life hiding, and when I wasn't hiding- I was running, most of all from myself. I have done everything I can to escape the memories of what happened to me as a child. However- there comes a time when a person can no longer run from the darkness that surrounds them, and I reached this point several years ago. In order to ascend into heaven- one must first descend into hell to deal with his demons. Even Jesus Christ had to do this- and so, with the help of a fantastic therapist, I made the resolution to glean what I could from what happened to me in order to help me escape the continual hell that I was living in. First thing I want to point out is that the past is the past. Never again will we find ourselves in the same situations as we did when we were children. That is the most important thing to remember when trying to release ourselves from our bonds.

Before we let the past go however, let me point out a few things that some of you may not have considered. When looking back- remember this: they only picked the brightest to go through their training. That is the reason we survived- because we were bright enough to adapt to everything they threw at us and our survival is a testament to the brilliance that resides within all of us. This was fundamental when I looked back at my past, and realized that, in many ways, I was smarter than my trainers.

I guess the most important thing I want to impress upon all of you is that they may have learned from us- but they can't do what we were TAUGHT! Looking within, trusting our intuition and that knowing side within all of us- they can't do any of that. They opened a part of our minds that they can't control, and which has only gotten stronger as we have aged. They were looking into the psychic side of human nature- that is why we went through what we went through- because they were looking to stimulate that part of the brain that is dormant in most people in order to use it to control people. The horrors that we experienced as children were designed to force us to use that part of our brains and in doing so- they taught us things that they themselves are incapable of doing. It makes no difference if others believe this or not- for most people- in my experience, can't even begin to comprehend the things that I tell them about my past- and so whether or not anyone believes or understands doesn't negate the things that I personally know to be true.

The biggest component to our trainers control was fear. They taught us to be afraid of everything and everyone- not to trust the things they were teaching us to do. However, controlling a person with fear rarely works for long, and the more one tries to dominate with such tactics- the greater the resistance in the human spirit. Fear breeds contempt, contempt breeds anger, anger eventually feeds thoughts of revolution, and then all hell breaks loose generally. However- what we experienced was internal and mental- and so the revolution that we are involved with is all "in our own minds" so to speak- and therefore we have to fight the urge to turn the fight on ourselves, instead of focusing it outward- where it could do some good.

It is true that in the past- there was nowhere to go, and none of us were able to really focus what happened to us in any congruent way that made a difference. We have been shunned, ridiculed, dismissed, and ultimately ignored by most of society- who seems to believe that our government couldn't be guilty of such things. However, that is the past- and I am finding that history has a way of returning to situations again and again- and this time, we are no longer children. More importantly- for many of us- the talents that they strove to impress upon us as children have only grown in their complexities, and now- as adults, we are not only able to step into our own, but many of us have this driving compulsion, if you will, to help others in the same boat as us to do the same.

Let me remind you that most of our training was looking within ourselves, and though they used torture, drugs, and fear to stimulate those talents- the goal was to make us psychic soldiers of a sort. Again- whether the general population believes this or not makes no difference- for those of you who experienced what I have know what I am talking about. Again- this letter is for you.

I personally believe that we are on the verge of a spiritual evolution the likes of which none of us have ever seen before. The general population is getting a sense of others around them and the bond that they have with their fellow man in a way that has never been so prevalent- and it shows me that the human compassion in all of us is building. For those who experienced MKUltra in their pasts- this is having an even greater affect upon us- as we were taught to look within ourselves, thus encouraging an almost mutant sense of mental/spiritual evolution. Most people don't have a sense of the mind such as we do- and aren't aware of their capabilities like we are, never having been forced to use them before as we have. Since there is no one who is capable of thwarting the will of God, I believe there must be a reason for this. There is a reason why we all have the self awareness that we do, and I believe that there is a reason why we are all waking up from our nightmare at the same time.

Kathleen Sullivan's inspiration to build the US TRC was through divine providence in my opinion. Giving victims a sense of themselves and offering a sense of direction- we are gaining a voice that we are just getting used too. The 2010 Ritual Abuse Conference was also a gift from God, and hopefully gave Neil Brick, founder of both the conference and the website SMART (Stop Mind Control and Ritual Abuse Today) a real sense of accomplishment as he was the one who brought so many minds together. Not that there aren't a great group of people who have paved the way these last decades- who have endured the ridicule of being part of a group who would not let this issue die- but like I tell my older sister all the time, we are in a different day and age- and things have changed.

She and I talk about our experiences occasionally and she is always perplexed by the fact that when she came out and began talking about her experiences, no one believed her. In fact, she felt a campaign to silence her in a way that I never have. Myself- on the other hand- found people who, although were not a good group of people- nonetheless validated my experiences in a way that I couldn't deny. Now- she sees me as some sort of activist- and she often makes comments on how different my experience is from her own, as she sees the support that is out there now for people like us, who wish to come forward. My explanation is simple- we live in a different day and age- and everything has changed. There are three stages that an idea becomes public knowledge- first it is ridiculed, and then fought against- until it is finally accepted. The Law of Gravity and the fact that the earth travels around the sun are perfect examples of this process. We are simply at the third stage of the process, where we are going to see our experiences become common knowledge.

There are things that you can do. First- although I have no faith in the institution itself- the UN is accepting 2 minute videos on YouTube where victims are able to talk about the human rights violations in their communities, and these videos will be considered as they evaluate the human rights violations that have occurred in the United States. You can find this project under Testify!Project, which is the group that is promoting this event. This does not mean that you have to be in front of the camera- film your pet while you are talking, or a tree blowing in the wind, or whatever it is that you want to film, just so you get your story told enough to count when they start considering the violations. We HAVE a voice- and although we were intimidated to be afraid of it at a young age- it is our strongest and most powerful gift given to us in this life. Every one of us has a story to tell- and every one of our stories is important- no matter the details. If it is simply standing up and saying "THIS HAPPENED TO ME'- in my experience, there is no better way to start claiming your power.

Secondly- and probably hardest to do, try to reach out and educate yourselves. Knowledge is power, and although we were taught to be afraid- it is freeing when you begin to accept that the things that you remember are not only possible- but probable. At least it was true for me. Understanding that there are others- MANY others who are in the same boat as you- is helpful, and one of the saving graces for all of this for me was to know that I wasn't alone. Because of my sister- I never really was- but it took awhile for me to grasp the sheer numbers of people who are also involved and survived the same things we did in our family. Realize we are out here- and through Kathleen Sullivan's US TRC- we are gaining opportunities to reach out and embrace each other in a way that we never have before. Things have changed, as I have said.

Lastly- and probably most importantly- try to begin to practice what they taught you. Look within; don't be afraid to find the answers. The lessons may have been horrible- but we have the choice to overcome the fear and allow ourselves to embrace what they taught us. The biggest difference in all of this is the fact that WE have the power now. The things they forced open within us are beginning to awaken- and we- as a group- are starting to become aware of, not only our abilities as individuals, but our strength in numbers. Our trainer's biggest weapon was to convince us that we were alone- that we were helpless to stop that which was happening to us, and convince us that we are victims. However, those days are over- and now we are coming into a time that the world NEEDS what we have within us. We owe it to ourselves, others, and to God to let ourselves shine in a way that we were taught to do.

If I could leave you with one last thing- I would like to impress upon you that the reason why none of us are associated with our pasts any longer is that they couldn't break our spirits- and that is because we are lightbearers. Entrenched in the darkness as children- the only thing that saved many of us was that we were forced to seek out the light- and that was something they couldn't control. That is what binds us all as a group- and is actually the true power which resides in us all, giving us a commonality with each other. Now is the time to let our collective light shine. And trust me- we are all shining. In fact- the light is so bright that when I look at it as a whole- it hurts my eyes. Times have certainly changed.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Ritual Abuse, Satanic Ritual Abuse, and Omaha, NE

Asked to explain what ritual abuse and satanic ritual abuse are- I find myself perplexed as to how to adequately explain what the two are and what it was like to suffer each one in my life.

Ritual abuse is simple daily abuse offered in a way that makes the victim feel as if they are an animal, treatment that is inhumane and damaging to the point that it becomes not only acceptable, but expected. My abuse was extreme- and involved torture, beatings, verbal and physical abuse, as well as all the emotional and psychological abuse that goes along with such behaviors. Treated as an animal such as I was, I grew up with zero self esteem, conflicting self images, and a stress level unimaginable for most people. As a result, I developed Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which I have found very disabling as an adult.

Jaycee Dugard is a good example of what happens when a person endures ritual abuse, and the silence that such violations encourage. Although she was presented with ample opportunity to escape her captivity- such as having a run in with police with her abductor- she remained silent and complacent. This is a major effect of such abuse, and often times takes years to come to terms with. Daily abuse demoralizes the spirit, and the affect on the psyche is so negative that the victim sometimes becomes identified with the abuse and their abusers. This is sometimes referred to as the Stockholm effect.

Satanic ritual abuse is much more controversial, and a concerted campaign has been waged to keep anyone from considering the validity of complaints that thousands of victims have brought forth- in order to deter everyone from looking at a problem that, although certainly not the norm, nonetheless exists in our culture.

There is a long, sordid history in Omaha, Nebraska concerning a satanic cult that was operating during the 60's, 70's, and 80's- and though there has been NO investigations into the crimes associated with such a group, not to mention the abductions and murders that were occurring at the time, there is still talk about what was happening at the time. My father was a high priest- and along with some very well connected friends who were enamored with the devil- were using some of the children that were involved in a human trafficking ring as blood sacrifices to feed their sick, hedonistic desires. Satanic ritual abuse is just what it sounds like- ritualistic abuse that has a satanic theme to both the abuse, and the ritualistic practices that are performed.

People such as the False Memory Foundation have come out and claimed that such accounts are part of a "satanic panic"- and that the tens of thousands of police reports that have been made throughout the country must have been fabricated due to a lack of substance behind such claims. It is peculiar to me that their associations disclosed that members of their board and much of their funding came from an organization called NAMBLA (the North American Man Boy Love Association), and many of their claims have been disproved throughout the decades of psychological and pharmaceutical advances that have been made since they first began their aggressive campaign to silence such claims, both in the media as well as the court room.

Nick Bryant's book details many of the problems that revolved around a failed financial institution in the 80's, located in Omaha called the Franklin Credit Union. Along with Mr. Bryant's book The Franklin Scandal, a British documentary can be found on YouTube called "Conspiracy of Silence" that details many of the problems that are expounded upon by The Franklin Scandal. Pulled from the Discovery Channel the day it was to air- it is a strong testament to the concerns that many have here in Omaha.

Ritual abuse and satanic ritual abuse are not just a problem for Omaha, Nebraska- and the Noblitt's book Ritual Abuse in the 21st Century present, in great detail, not only a glimpse of the numbers of victims involved with such activities, but also goes into depth as the types of abuse associated with the practices. The extreme abuse survey that was conducted was an incredible social study- and out of fourteen hundred surveys, a thousand came back completely finished. For a study of this sort- these numbers show a great propensity on the part of the victims to share their experiences, and as a social study- these numbers are substantial, as most times- the numbers for such a study are statistically much lower. Plainly laying out what victims of extreme abuse have endured- they break down the barriers by examining the commonalities worldwide, although it may surprise people that most of the victims were in the United States. Discovering that many believed that the government was behind their abuse, Ritual Abuse in the 21st Century pointedly shows that ritual abuse and satanic ritual abuse are not only happening in greater numbers than anyone ever assumed, but there can be seen a concerted effort, both in the media as well as in the courts, to discredit any mention of such activities. No studies in the past few decades have been conducted to explore the validity of such claims out of fear of the repercussions that could result- tying the hands of therapists and social workers alike, who often have to endure the stories of their clients without having any credible resources to fall back on that could help them understand what has happened. Randy Noblitt and Pamela Perskin Noblitt's book is the first of its kind- and their revolutionary studies stand on the forefront- exposing this evil for what it is- REAL and PREVALENT.

At the 2010 Ritual Abuse Conference, a new coalition was formed that involved not only victims of such abuse- but also therapists, social workers, and members of law enforcement (to name a few involved) who wish to reach out to victims, expose what is happening, and help to hold our government responsible for doing unconscionable things to innocent, and many times, unwitting American citizens. The US TRC (the United States Truth and Reconciliation Coalition), this past week- made a public announcement stating their purpose for coming together and what they wish to achieve. This was that announcement:

Public Announcement: the new United States Truth and Reconciliation Coalition (US TRC)

August 24, 2010

We are pleased to announce our new human rights organization, the United States Truth and Reconciliation Coalition (US TRC).

Using the South African Truth and Reconciliation Commission as our model, we will focus on increasing public awareness of historical and present-day extreme abuse and human rights violations including human experimentation, human trafficking, organized ritual crime, and other forms of torture committed in the US and/or by representatives of the US government.

At this time, the US TRC consists of three volunteer groups:

Our coalition currently consists of sixteen members who contribute a rich blend of personal experience, knowledge, creativity, determination, inspiration, wisdom, advocacy experience, mediation expertise, research skills, professional experience, and more.

Our large discussion group provides the coalition with practical support, ideas, feedback, news, and more.

Our update group distributes coalition news to advocacy and human rights organizations and coalitions and to other concerned groups and citizens through emails, websites, media announcements, social networking, and more.

To learn more about the US TRC, to join one of our volunteer groups, or to learn of other ways that you can support our efforts, please email us at . Thank you.

Certainly the tide is changing concerning ritual abuse- as we as a people are becoming more aware of the atrocities that are happening all around us in the way of human trafficking and the modern day versions of slavery that is occurring, not only worldwide, but most especially in the United States. I believe that the US TRC is a valuable addition to the push to expose such events in order to stop them from reoccurring in today's society.

Omaha, Nebraska is a blaring example of the wrongdoings and human rights violations that our government is accountable for- and I personally hope to encourage those out there who are interested in getting involved to start here. Nick Bryant's book is complex, and it is not an easy read considering it deals with issues that many of us have been conditioned to dismiss the minute we hear anything about it- but it is an instrumental read to understanding some of the issues that surround that of which I speak.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

The 2010 Conference Concerning Ritual Abuse, Secret Societies, and Mind Control

The issue of ritual abuse, an issue once forbidden to discuss, is coming to the forefront the more we learn about the issue of human trafficking, and with books such as that written by Randy Noblitt and Pamela Perskin Noblitt entitled Ritual Abuse in the 21st Century, more info is coming to the surface as people have started to understand what it is like to be treated like an animal on a daily basis- and the Stockholm effect that it has over the victim, keeping them quiet and complacent. However, after attending the 2010 Conference Concerning Ritual Abuse, Secret Societies, and Mind Control, I discovered how uphill the battle to expose this vile treatment of our fellow human beings has become.

Take for example, the website Wikipedia. Invested in the concept that ritual abuse should only be associated with the moral panics of the 80s and 90s, it has decided to blacklist and ban all websites that deal with the issues concerning such cases. These websites are,,, and It says something when you consider the censorship that is occurring with regards to the issues brought up by the victims and their supporters. Neil Brick, founder of SMART, (standing for Stop Mind Control and Ritual Abuse Today), was the primary leader of the conference this year- as he has been for over a decade, and has dedicated much of his life to exposing and trying to stop this inhumane practice that is not just a problem abroad, but also right here in America.

The conference was a collection of professionals who are tops in their perspective fields- many of them published, as well as victims of the practice of not only ritual abuse, but also satanic ritual abuse- a practice not even those in the field dare whisper of fear of the repercussions that could result in speaking of such things. Honest, dedicated individuals who, although they may have been scarred by their childhoods or what they may have faced professionally- shined beautifully in the retelling of their experiences while they offered hope to those of us who are still struggling with coming to terms with what happened to us, and I came away with such a feeling of community that I feel compelled to share with others some of what I experienced this past weekend at the conference.

Discussing such topics as how ritual abuse can occur in any household and doesn't have to be connected in any way to a group, although thousands of such cases exist- brought home the fact that ritual abuse encourages isolation, and the victims that are experiencing it now- today- most likely feel as alone as I did back then. It is true that I am a product of SRA (satanic ritual abuse), but- because of the situations surrounding my family and Omaha, Nebraska; I sometimes forget that the effects of ritual abuse are the same for all abused victims, and that we all need to stand together so that even the most frightened will be empowered to come forward- regardless of the circumstances of their abuse.

Mr. Brick- whom I found to be a wealth of information, did his utmost to make the conference a safe and nurturing experience, and succeeded superbly. The topics discussed were intense, and many of the recollections people shared were not easy to listen too- but the presentations were given with such compassion and emotion that, at one point- they elicited a standing ovation. The stories related in the conference were so personal and touching that I couldn't be helped to be moved several times throughout the event, and because of Mr. Brick's handling of the conference- there was not one point at which I felt unsafe.

Safety is important to anyone who has endured any kind of abuse- and many who attended the conference had been attacked- not only as children, but as adults- as they struggled to put together what happened to them as children only to be personally attacked by both family and strangers alike. During the time that I began to try to expose the events that happened in Omaha, I endured death threats, dead animals being left in my yard, phone calls from strangers urging me to stop, and vandalism to my car- among other things designed to intimidate me back into silence. Attacked by my father's family, overwhelmed by the fact that very few people would listen to me- I felt very alone during my ordeal. The most poignant thing is that I realized during this conference is that I am not alone- and that others have gone through many of the same things I did when I started my investigation. Without Mr. Brick adhering strictly to the rules of the conference- such as an ID badge worn at all times, I believe that people would not have had the comfort to open up as they did.

Concerning some of what happened in Omaha, I have to say that I was profoundly impressed by the presentation given by Nick Bryant- author of the new book The Franklin Scandal: A Story of Power brokers, Child Abuse, and Betrayal. Thoughtful, insightful, and disturbing- he explains the workings of the Franklin Credit Union and the events surrounding the downfall of the institution in such a way that it was completely understandable- which is not an easy feat considering the complexities surrounding the failed bank. Having thoroughly investigated the people involved, and the situations that they were involved with, he lays out his investigation with great detail- his facts corroborated at least three times over before he included them in his book. I am hoping that Mr. Bryant plans a trip to Omaha soon, as I believe that the people here need to hear the truth in what he is presenting, as he does a great job detailing the concerns many in Omaha still have regarding the events that played out here.

The time to be afraid is over, as is the time to be shamed into silence. I discovered that there is a strong urge in everyone I met this past weekend to bring this issue back into the minds of the general public, and the most inspiring aspect of this past conference was the fact that so many want to join together in order to stop a practice that is not happening just in other countries, but in fact is most prevalent in our own! The leaders of this movement- such as those involved with Ritual Abuse in the 21st Century and the extreme abuse survey, as well as the victims who are fighting to have their voices heard, and the therapists who have been exposed to the stories of their clients- are coming together in a way that is awe inspiring and I have every confidence our efforts will encourage others living in the darkness to come out of hiding.

(With concerns to the extreme abuse survey- as a social study- it had a remarkable turnout and yielded- not only consistent, but detailed facts concerning the practices, methodologies, and numbers of victims suffering from experiences that a concerted campaign is being waged to prevent anyone from even considering actually exists.)

I want to thank Neil for his continuing efforts to expose this heinous practice, and I encourage everyone out there to support his, and those with who he is working so hard with- in their efforts to reduce these practices by educating yourselves- looking at and reading the information on the websites that I previously mentioned, as well as getting involved with spreading the word. The only way to stop what is happening in our communities at large is to know the problem, and come together in a cohesive way that lets our objections to such abuse be heard, and examining the four websites blacklisted on Wikipedia is a good way to start. Another way to learn more is to attend next year's conference. I know that I will be attending again- and I hope to meet more people next year than I did this last weekend.

It was a mind expanding event, and I look forward to seeing great things come from last weekend. Considering the strength and the endurance of the people involved- we will see this inhumane practice exposed in our lifetimes without a doubt!